We see many students every week and we work with them closely. We know more than how they “do” tests or schoolwork, we know them as individuals. And we know many of them wonder about direction in life — they seem unsure or even rudderless about career paths or personal paths outside of career. Indeed, that is why we offer our mentoring services. We see that many students lack a sense of urgency about finding a path of personal meaning and discovery, which involves answering the questions Who am I as a person? What do I want to get from life? What legacy do I want to leave behind attached to my name? How will I live this life of mine? What standards will guide the choices I make?
We knew we were not seeing an accidental occurrence but rather a trend. Whereas a generation or two past the immediacy of taking life by the reins, whether for personal gain/ambition or making a difference in the world (or both), today’s generation simply does not move the same. And now a study by Stanford psychologist William Damon confirms this trend and gives it quantitative and qualitative substance.
“There have always been kids that drift,” Mr. Damon, a noted scholar on children’s moral development and contemporary child-rearing practices, said in an interview. “But I do think we have a special problem today in the numbers of kids and the kind of trouble they’re having in finding a sense of direction.”
For the study, Mr. Damon’s team has conducted in-depth interviews with a quarter of the youths surveyed, and compared the responses with those from other surveys taken of earlier generations of young people.
One-fifth of the survey participants said they had found something meaningful to which they wanted to dedicate their lives—whether that meant raising a family, pursuing a career that mattered to them, starting a business, or choosing a religion, according to Mr. Damon.
At the other extreme, the researchers identified a quarter of the young people as “disengaged,” meaning that they expressed no particular wider purpose for their lives and were not involved in activities that might help them find one.
“Apart from the kids on either end of the spectrum,” Mr. Damon said, “there’s a majority of kids who are looking for something but haven’t found it. They’ve either tried something that doesn’t work, or they have some big dream but they haven’t pursued it in a practical sort of way.” Mr. Damon classified those young people as either “dabblers” or “dreamers.”
Mr. Damon’s findings speak to a wider body of evidence showing that young people around the world are putting off marriage and parenthood until well into their 20s, longer than their parents and grandparents did. The trend has spurred some psychologists to coin the term “emerging adulthood” to describe the period from 18 to 25 as a new transitional phase between adolescence and adulthood.
Damon and others in this field have found a pervasive lack of passion for charting a life path, and a strong trend in favor of “drift” so that essentially the pull of circumstance or social communities determines how these young lives move forward, rather than the values and dreams of the individuals themselves.
We deal with a wide variety of personalities and backgrounds every day, and we have some amazingly self-motivated and ambitious students and some at the other end of the spectrum. But we have seen the trend of fewer students thinking about — not knowing, just thinking about — a life path and purpose as important goals. If college is the time for self-discovery, why are so many students not engaging themselves and getting ready for the process? This is the question Damon and others hope to answer in the near future. Damon stresses the idea of general disillusionment with role models who would otherwise serve as motivators, but that seems only to beg the question. Why would a large group of kids choose a path of disengagement — just because the environment is one of general disengagement? If we are wired as people to find meaning and purpose for our lives, why this counterrevolution for inertia?
Damon suggests his findings have big implications for education as well as parenting. He feels schools do not do enough to talk about “meaning” in life and developing a life path because they have to teach so much else in terms of basics. I think schools have a difficult task in creating a strong foundation of solid academics; taking time away from serious learning is not helpful to their mission. However, adding to the curriculum material that focuses on school as part of a meaningful path in life and having some seminars on that topic would be beneficial. But ultimately, it seems unfair to impose on our school system the duty of helping students find meaning in that manner; it makes more sense to help create meaning through learning and example (which in fairness Damon discusses).
So…in the end we want to help students take their lives seriously, their life paths seriously. This is not an easy task, but a required one, one that needs a team effort of parent-student-educator/life coach. When all three work together, we work magic. We know…we feel it and see it happen every day.